My permanent plus one.

If you’ve followed me for a while, you know I’m not big on excuses. I’m about to make a giant exception because I have the world’s best excuse for not blogging for the last 2+ months:

An (almost) 10 week old, 12 pound, blue-eyed, smiley, loud, boob-loving, diaper change-hating baby boy.

That’s right – I had our baby at the start of Memorial Day weekend. It was the scariest, longest and most wonderful day of my life. The phrase “Your life can change in an instant” was never more true than the moment I laid eyes on my sweet little boy. And in that moment, it was as if a switch went off, and every other priority I had took a back seat to trying to be the best possible mom to my child.

Thus, blogging (and healthy eating, sleep, some relationships, email maintenance, etc.) all took a back seat. And I’ve spent the last (almost) 10 weeks working on my new goal. Have I figured it out? Not at all. Am I doing my best? I’d like to think so. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Is it worth it? Absolutely yes.

I’ve always enjoyed the phrase “plus one.” When we were dating, I liked being my (now) husband’s “plus one” at a wedding. When pregnant, I liked jokingly telling my friends when RSVPing for BBQs or parties that I’d be Donavan “plus one” (assuming Kyle would RSVP for himself, which rarely happens :)). That phrase has a new meaning to me now. My son is my permanent plus one. Even when he’s not physically with me (something I’m still trying to get an emotional hold on!), he’s still with me. I think about him constantly. I dream about what his life will be like. I can’t go anywhere without me – he is my permanent, life-long plus one.

And I couldn’t be happier about it. So, no promises on how long I’ll keep blogging or how frequently you’ll hear from me. I have (in all honesty) more important things to do for the foreseeable future. But when you do, I hope you’ll welcome the new me – Donavan plus one. I think that, with him, I’m simply a better version of myself.

Small Pleasures, Volume 45

Today, someone wished me a Happy Mother’s Day. That’s enough to bring me back to the blogging world. (And no, I didn’t cry, but I almost did!)

Happy (early) Mother’s Day to all the amazing moms out there, especially mine. Thank you for being the best role models I could ask for. 

Pilates Update

In case you were wondering (I know, you have nothing better to do) … I’ve kept up my prenatal Pilates class throughout my pregnancy. I’m now in my third session and I truly think it’s made a difference in my strength, balance and general well-being throughout.

I started this third session a few weeks ago and a number of friends who know that I’ve been going have all asked the same question – “Are there people more pregnant than you in the class?” They run in six-week sessions, so I’ll finish this session in my 38th week of pregnancy. Somewhat surprisingly, this does make me the furthest along of all of us in the class.

I have to admit, this makes me feel pretty darn cool. I’m now a prenatal Pilates veteran – I know the exercises, I know when our instructor is kidding and when she’s serious, and (maybe most importantly) I know the best place to set up in the studio. There are women who ask me questions about the class and about pregnancy, which I actually feel equipped to answer. It’s funny how quickly you go from feeling like you don’t know anything to feeling like you’ve got wisdom to share. Important caveat: I have absolutely no wisdom about being a parent – my wisdom is limited to pregnancy only!

In my last session, at the last class, the woman sitting next to me was 39 and a half weeks pregnant. She was there working just as hard as I was. I remember looking at her at the end, smiling, and saying “Good luck!” It’s hard to believe someone will be saying that to me in just a few short weeks!

Cookie Monster.

It’s a really good thing for me that we’re past two major seasons – Christmas and Girl Scout cookie seasons, to be exact.

I haven’t had many pregnancy cravings, but my sweet tooth has definitely been more active than ever before, and cookies are a major downfall for me. Needless to say, they are something I’ve started to keep away from the house … and if I can make it out of the grocery store without any temptation, it’s a good day!

Kyle would definitely go as far as to say I’m a “Cookie Monster,” so I really enjoyed watching the original monster himself in this funny video today. I’d take Cookie Monster as a life coach any day!

Should have bought it when I saw it.

I knew I should have bought this dress when I was looking at it earlier this month.

If nothing else, I’ll feel good about myself knowing that Duchess Catherine and I both liked the same dress! Now how do I go about convincing her she needs an American best friend …

Small Pleasures, Volume 44

When someone you don’t know says to you, in an otherwise empty elevator, “I don’t want to creep you out …” you don’t really know what to expect. In this case, what followed was the nicest thing I could have imagined.

“You look amazing.”

After absorbing (which felt like it took 10 minutes but probably more like 2 seconds) I smiled and said, “Really? Thank you!” She responded, “You do! You just look like you have a basketball under your shirt. You’re glowing!”

And then the doors opened and she walked out.

I don’t know this person. I might never see her again (I work in a building that’s 24 stories tall). But she turned an otherwise ordinary Thursday morning in to one that was special, all because it brightened my day. And now I’m going to remember that feeling the next time I want to tell someone that they look fantastic.

See guys? It really is the little things.

I know nothing.

I exhaled, audibly, when I read this. Most of you know I have a strong love for the Today Show, so I’m biased when it comes to feelings on the anchors. But Savannah Guthrie’s take on being prepared for motherhood really resonates with me.

I know I am woefully unprepared for what the next phase of my life will look like, regardless of how many books I read, product reviews I sift through and friends I ask for advice. However, I truly believe that I will figure it out. I will learn. I will practice. I will laugh. I will cry. And I will do my absolute best to hold on to the memories of when I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. Sounds like those are some of the best memories I’ll make.

I’m still here!

I realize it has been a while, and I’m sorry. I could blame a trip to London, winter blues, baby registry-building or a whole host of other things … but none are good excuses to have skipped out on you. So, let’s just move forward!

I’m now about 6.5 months pregnant. I have no idea how the time went so quickly, as it honestly just feels like yesterday that I took the test, got the confirmation from the doctor and started this baby journey. Now, we’re 14 short weeks away from meeting our little one, assuming he/she arrives on time.

(As a side note, I think measuring this time in monthly is a lot less scary than doing it in weeks. 3.5 months seems far away, but 14 weeks feels like a very short window. Kyle loves to torture me by giving me the weekly countdown!)

Regardless, this journey has been different than I thought it would be. Not that you asked, but I’ll tell you how.

1) The first few months were more exhausting than I could have anticipated. I thought my first trimester would be full of trying not to puke, getting excited about having a baby and generally hiding from the world until I was ready to share my news. Instead, mine centered around organizing and executing a move, trying to keep my eyes open at work and being terrified about being a parent. Those months were physically and emotionally exhausting in ways I haven’t experienced before.

2) The changes in my body have been both immediate and a long time coming. I assumed that, by month three or four, I’d have this cute baby bump and be shopping for comfy clothes. I realize that everyone’s body and pregnancy is different, but I was wearing my regular clothes until about three weeks ago. Some were overly tight and not super comfortable, but I got a lot more mileage from my existing wardrobe than I thought I would. However, some changes happened as soon as I was pregnant. For me, those were hair loss (and then growth), lots of itchy skin and general aches and pains. In general, I thought there would be more gradual transitions from a non-pregnant body to a pregnant one. False!

3) I generally feel pretty great. Sure, there are days that I feel very fat, or tired, or bothered by nearly everything – but truthfully most of the time I feel like myself. I have good energy, I can do nearly everything I used to do and – best of all – I want to. I thought pregnancy would have me wanting to go in a hole and miss life for 10 months as I prepared for my big life change. Turns out, it makes me want to do everything I can to keep doing the things I would have done if I weren’t pregnant (except drink lots of wine and skydive).

4) I’m still terrified. I feel a bit vulnerable about this but this is a safe place, so I’ll tell you the truth I expected to be scared and shocked (yet happy) when we found out I was pregnant. I then thought I’d quickly move in to being over the moon and super excited to plan for our baby’s arrival. Instead, I’ve spent most of the last 6.5 months fighting the urge to be totally terrified, leaving little room for other emotions. Let me be clear – I am thrilled that I’ll have the chance to be a parent and can’t wait to meet our baby. But the uncertainty and the multitude of things we can’t prepare for still overwhelms me. In talking with lots of people about this feeling, I have decided I’m not alone. However, I need to find ways to deal with the fact that lots of life, from this point forward, will feel overwhelming. This goes back to my new years’ resolution to take each day as it comes.

5) I am obsessed with baby clothes. I never thought I’d get so excited by tiny chambray shirts and striped onezies. It’s a really good thing that we don’t know if our baby is a boy or a girl, or I’d be blowing my entire baby budget on adorable outfits. Yes, I realize he or she will change 6 times a day and that I won’t be able to think straight enough to put together a cute outfit. But the clothes are just. so. cute! I’m proud that I’ve stuck to my goal of only buying things that are on sale, and really not letting myself get carried away.

In all of this, I’ve learned that it’s safer in life to have few expectations, especially for things that you have no experience with. That’s a lesson I will try to remember as a parent – if my assumptions were wrong about pregnancy, I’m sure they will be totally blown to shreds once our baby is here!

In Royal Baby news …

The headline reads: Duchess Kate says she doesn’t know baby’s gender, but it’s ‘kicking now’

That makes two of us, Kate – our baby started making his or her presence known a few days ago. Feeling the little kicks was the perfect “gift” to give my wonderful husband on his birthday Sunday – I’m pretty sure that’s something he’s never received before! It was hard to keep the secret from him for a few days, but I’ll never forget the look on his face when he felt it.

But man, is our baby moving. I can only assume this means he/she is going to have a lot of energy to burn. I hope I can keep up!

Prenatal Everything.

I’ve learned a lot in the last few months about just how many products and services exist for pregnant women. If she had unlimited funds (or at least more funds than I have!), a pregnant lady could eat special prenatal diets, take the best prenatal vitamins, buy a whole prenatal wardrobe and probably go on special prenatal vacations – I don’t know for sure about that last one but I bet it exists.

I’ve bought in to some of this stuff – I take my prenatal vitamin daily and have a few maternity clothes. But the place where I’m choosing to spend my money is on prenatal fitness.

Given that I’ve never been pregnant before and don’t have a ton of people in my life who have been recently, I’ve had a lot of questions about working out during pregnancy. What kind of exercises are best? How had can you go? What if you don’t feel well? What should my heart rate be? Can I do squats? How about abs? You get the picture.

So, although I’ve been trying to walk, do the elliptical and stationary bike and keep up with a (pretty light) weightlifting routine, I wanted more. But, I wanted to do something that was specially designed for this phase of my life, and by people who know what pregnant women should and shouldn’t do.

Enter prenatal Pilates.

I had never taken Pilates before my prenatal class, so I didn’t know what to expect. I still have no idea what a true Pilates class is like, since I’ve only done the pregnant version. But, I like it. I like the focusing on breathing (like yoga!) and core strength. I like that the prenatal class focuses on building muscles in your legs and arms that will help you during labor, delivery and after the baby is born.

But the best part is that I can exercise without worry. My class is taught by a Doctor of Physical Therapy who designed the class just for expecting moms. She’s there to keep me on track and make sure I’m doing everything the right way. It’s nice to be able to relax and know that, not only am I protecting the baby, but I’m doing something good for me.