My permanent plus one.

If you’ve followed me for a while, you know I’m not big on excuses. I’m about to make a giant exception because I have the world’s best excuse for not blogging for the last 2+ months:

An (almost) 10 week old, 12 pound, blue-eyed, smiley, loud, boob-loving, diaper change-hating baby boy.

That’s right – I had our baby at the start of Memorial Day weekend. It was the scariest, longest and most wonderful day of my life. The phrase “Your life can change in an instant” was never more true than the moment I laid eyes on my sweet little boy. And in that moment, it was as if a switch went off, and every other priority I had took a back seat to trying to be the best possible mom to my child.

Thus, blogging (and healthy eating, sleep, some relationships, email maintenance, etc.) all took a back seat. And I’ve spent the last (almost) 10 weeks working on my new goal. Have I figured it out? Not at all. Am I doing my best? I’d like to think so. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Is it worth it? Absolutely yes.

I’ve always enjoyed the phrase “plus one.” When we were dating, I liked being my (now) husband’s “plus one” at a wedding. When pregnant, I liked jokingly telling my friends when RSVPing for BBQs or parties that I’d be Donavan “plus one” (assuming Kyle would RSVP for himself, which rarely happens :)). That phrase has a new meaning to me now. My son is my permanent plus one. Even when he’s not physically with me (something I’m still trying to get an emotional hold on!), he’s still with me. I think about him constantly. I dream about what his life will be like. I can’t go anywhere without me – he is my permanent, life-long plus one.

And I couldn’t be happier about it. So, no promises on how long I’ll keep blogging or how frequently you’ll hear from me. I have (in all honesty) more important things to do for the foreseeable future. But when you do, I hope you’ll welcome the new me – Donavan plus one. I think that, with him, I’m simply a better version of myself.

I know nothing.

I exhaled, audibly, when I read this. Most of you know I have a strong love for the Today Show, so I’m biased when it comes to feelings on the anchors. But Savannah Guthrie’s take on being prepared for motherhood really resonates with me.

I know I am woefully unprepared for what the next phase of my life will look like, regardless of how many books I read, product reviews I sift through and friends I ask for advice. However, I truly believe that I will figure it out. I will learn. I will practice. I will laugh. I will cry. And I will do my absolute best to hold on to the memories of when I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. Sounds like those are some of the best memories I’ll make.